Need

By Sebastiaan

desperately in need
of something warm
cold to the touch
my hands stop shaking

I sincerely need
your honesty now
though there isn't much
I can do to see you waking

would that I need
your caring
yet I desire your heart

should I give
give it all
or not give at all

Inspiration

By Sebastiaan

a creative mind falls victim to inspiration all the time
a brilliant mind knows how to bend inspiration to fit in a line
a poetic mind does not whine
nor is it mine

if only I was blessed with any of these
if I could only write a single sentence
that would befit you in any way
that could describe the way I feel

oh how I wish I could write
a poem
a single line
one stanza
that could even come close
to emotion
oh how I wish I could write down the tear in my eye

The Best Thing

A short story by Sebastiaan

May be it's the best thing, but maybe it's not worth it. May be it is the worst thing, but maybe it's so worth it.

I just don't know. It's hard to decide on good and evil, there are no stamps to be placed upon people, no labels by which they can be defined. I've always firmly believed this.

There's just no knowing where time may lead us, at this moment though I'm spun onward by music.

I live alone inside my room, occasionally though, time drips by to say hello. It doesn't stay long, but never stands still, except for those few moments. Time has thought me two things. The first: enjoy moments while they last, time will seem to stand still (and maybe it does?), but it never stays that way.

The other: you can never be sure of the future.

For example, happiness is momentarily.

Whilst I was pondering over these and many more time-related issues, someone knocked on my door. "You there?" I heard the voice of a friend of mine.
"Come on in," I replied. After she sat down, I posed here the question, "what is it you seek, my friend?"

Now, before I continue, there may be some explanation befitting this friend. She is no ordinary friend, not just someone whom I could laugh with, talk to about the serious depths of life... This friend, she's song-worthy.

Yes, I sing a lot, and write my own songs. It is not something widely known, I like to keep this to myself, but to some friends, I sing a few songs, and to those very special friends, I even write a song.

For her, I wrote about my heart.

She replied: "I seek your advice... There's something which has been on my mind for a long time now..." I wondered what she meant with these words, what she was talking about. I let her continue, without interruption, though clearly that was what she sought. "You know, it's been a really long while since I've truly experienced happiness, those frozen moments, standing still in time. Even though it continues to flow, I know I'm caught in a moment... You do know what I'm talking about, right?" I nodded, but did not speak. "Why are you silent, my friend? Has ill befallen you?"
"It has not," I replied. "You see, it is exactly this you speak of which I was just thinking about, before you entered. I like to call those little moments you speak of, the pearls of life. It is these pearls we must treasure. It is this, and music, that define a good life. Let me sing to you."

The song I sung next was as follows (it was actually more of a poem, than a song, yet still I did sung out the words under a melody):

Is it shelter you seek?
Is it your heart I should keep?
Should yours actually be mine to hold?
Is it pure, saintly good and made of gold?
Is it your heart I'm meant to seek?

Is it your dreams you dare not speak?
Are mine too unnerving and deep?
Why feels your hand so cold?
Is it solely the thought of your kiss
that makes me tremble and weak?

She interrupted my singing with a tear, it broke through the sturdy glass panes called her bluest eyes, and I was brought to a shake. "What's the matter?" I asked, carefully.
"I am moved. It was just now, this moment, that time had stood still, for me. I thank you." With those words she left.


I still think of the day she left me, I do not exactly know why she did, but she did as she pleased all the time anyway.

If there's one thing time has thaught me, it is that it cannot be trusted in the hands of a loved one.

Love. May be it's the best thing, but maybe it's not worth it. May be it is the worst thing, but maybe it's so worth it.

Storm

By Sebastiaan

from blue to black
lightning forms in sky
flashes overhead

cast aside this storm
raging over me
to pick up the pieces again

turn the tide
and fight
this restlessness inside

Relativity

By Sebastiaan

nothing's certain
but what we see
naked to our eyes
pure science shines
bright into your face

what we can
or cannot do
is hidden and lies
within our hearts
leaving us without a trace

relatively spoken
you're all that's left for me
in theory
there's only you
in this shell filled with pieces of me

Brainless Proposal

By Sebastiaan

thoughtless pondering over subjects
unmoved by pieces of particles
dead to the naked eye

this brainless thinking must stop
the fierce strider in me must get up
and stand strong

I gotta make my stance
the final act
the final movement
in all I am

I've got to fight
for the right
to live love life

be mine

Cellar Door

By Sebastiaan

inside your heart I found comfort
cellar to all but the nocturnal

inside my mind I find shelter
closed the door behind me

it was in love that I found peace
striding forever onward
waging war
against the demons of my heart

I shut this cellar door
threw away the key
to my heart

Somewhere Else

By Sebastiaan

...this would be heaven
if it weren't for the absence of you...

life holds no burdens
for the pure of heart
if only they are found
together

live life in love
no pain and sorrow can attain
what reaches beyond the stars

...though this will be hell
should I still live without you...

Inside My Mind

By Sebastiaan

haven't seen you in days
yet still you're here
in so many ways
your presence is still near

haven't heard your voice
since all that time ago
still I've got no choice -

you tear me up
shatter me to pieces
lightning bolt from the sky -

you crash
you burn
inside my mind

lest I befall no ill I'll take thine hand yet once again on 'morrow's eve...

Melting

By Sebastiaan

tender to the touch
yet so unattainable

you cannot fathom
what makes me tremble

as much as your sight...

...and you should know
my heart melts before you...